Ideas for phone recorded messages

By | September 1, 2008

We are Borg. Resistance is futile. You will be assimilated. But we’re not home right now. So leave a message at the tone, and we’ll assimilate you later.

You’re dazed, bewildered, trapped in a world without time, where sound collides with colour and shadows explode. You see a signpost up ahead – this is no ordinary telephone answering device… you have reached, The Twilight Phone.

The number you have just dialled, 123-4567, has been changed. The new number is 123-4567.

You have reached the Voice Blackmail System. Your voice patterns are now being digitally encoded and stored for later use. Once this is done, our computers will be able to use the sound of your voice for literally thousands of illegal and immoral purposes. There is no charge for this initial consultation. However, our staff of professional extortionists will contact you in the near future to further explain the benefits of our service, and to arrange for your schedule of payment. Remember to speak clearly at the sound of the tone.

We are unable to come to the phone right now. At the tone, please leave your name, number and MasterCard, Visa or American Express account number and we’ll get back to you, pending credit approval.

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Hello, and welcome to the psychiatric hotline…

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