Doomed by stupidity

By | January 17, 2009

In case you needed further proof that the human race is doomed by stupidity, here are some actual label instructions found on consumer goods.

On a Sears hairdryer: Do not use while sleeping.

On a bag of Fritos: You could be a winner! No purchase necessary. Details inside. (The shoplifter special)

On a bar of Dial soap: Directions: Use like regular soap.

On a Swann frozen dinners: Serving suggestion: Defrost. (But it’s just a suggestion.)

On Tesco’s tiramisu dessert (printed on the bottom of box): Do not turn upside-down.

On Marks & Spencer bread pudding: Product will be hot after heating.

On packaging for a Rowenta iron: Do not iron clothes on body.

On Boot’s children’s cough medicine: Do not drive a car or operate machinery after taking this medication.

On Nytol sleep aid: Warning: May cause drowsiness.

On most brands of Christmas lights: For indoor or outdoor use only. (As opposed to what?)

On a Japanese food processor: Not to be used for the other use.

On Sainsbury’s peanuts: Warning: contains nuts

On an American Airlines packet of peanuts: Instructions: Open packet, eat nuts.

On a child’s Superman costume: Wearing of this garment does not enable you to fly.

On a Swedish chain saw: Do not attempt to stop chain with your hands or genitals.

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