Kids say the damnedest things

By | June 26, 2009

Teacher: Maria, go to the map and find North America.

Maria: Here it is.

Teacher: Correct. Now class, who discovered America?

Class: Maria.

Teacher: John, why are you doing your math multiplication on the floor?

John: You told me to do it without using tables.

Teacher: Glenn, how do you spell “crocodile”?

Glenn: K-R-O-K-O-D-I-A-L

Teacher: No, that’s wrong

Glenn: Maybe it is wrong, but you asked me how I spell it.

Teacher: Donald, what is the chemical formula for water?

Donald: H I J K L M N O.

Teacher: What are you talking about?

Donald: Yesterday you said it’s H to O.

Teacher: Winnie, name one important thing we have today that we didn’t have ten years ago.

Winnie: Me!

Teacher: Glen, why do you always get so dirty?

Glen: Well, I’m a lot closer to the ground than you are.

Teacher: Millie, give me a sentence starting with “I”.

Millie: I is..

Teacher: No, Millie…… Always say, “I am.”

Millie: All right… “I am the ninth letter of the alphabet.”

Teacher: George Washington not only chopped down his father’s cherry tree, but also admitted it. Now, Louis, do you know why his father didn’t punish him?

Louis: Because George still had the axe in his hand.

Teacher: Now, Simon, tell me frankly, do you say prayers before eating?

Simon: No sir, I don’t have to, my Mom is a good cook.

Teacher: Clyde , your composition on “My Dog” is exactly the same as your brother’s. Did you copy his?

Clyde: No, sir. It’s the same dog.

Teacher: Harold, what do you call a person who keeps on talking when people are no longer interested?

Harold: A teacher

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