20 ways to tick people off

By | May 6, 2010

1. Leave the copier machine settings at 200% reduction, extra dark, 17 inch paper, 99 copies.
2. In the memo field of all your cheques, write “for sexual favours”.
3. Specify that your drive-through order is “To go”.
4. Stomp on little plastic ketchup packets.
5. Insist on keeping your car windshield wipers running in all weather conditions “to keep them tuned up”.
6. Reply to everything someone says with “That’s what you think.”
7. Highlight irrelevant information in news and “cc” them to your boss.
8. Make beeping noises when a large person backs up.
9. Finish all your sentences with the words “in accordance with prophesy”.
10. Adjust the tint on your TV so that all the people are green, and insist to others that you “like it that way”.
11. Staple documents in the middle of the page.
12. Honk and wave to strangers.
13. Decline to be seated at a restaurant, and simply eat their complimentary mints at the cash register.
14. TYPE IN UPPERCASE. type only in lowercase. dont use any punctuation either
15. Buy a large quantity of orange traffic cones and reroute whole streets.
16. While making presentations, occasionally bob your head like a parakeet.
17. Sit in your front yard pointing a hair dryer at passing cars to see if they slow down.
18. Sing along at the opera.
19. Ask your co-workers mysterious questions and then scribble their answers in a notebook. Mutter something about “psychological profiles”.
20. Repeat the following conversation a dozen times:
“Did you hear that?”
“What?”
“Never mind, it’s gone now.”

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